Friday, December 7, 2012
This rest of this post will be about the shock of my life.
Most of you know that I have two little girls. Two amazing little girls. I LOVE having daughters. When I was growing up, I imagined a house full of girls. And we have a small house, so that's basically what I have. And I adore it. I love everything that comes with it. I love knowing that as I invest my time and energy and love into these little ones, I am forming deep friendships that will culminate when they are grown. I love watching how special God made them...the nurturing and "mommy-ing" starts early. I've heard that little boys turn everything into cars and guns. Well, little girls turn everything into babies and families. If they have three PRETZELS that are different sizes, then one is the daddy, the shorter one is the mommy, and the smallest is the baby. Hilarious! I love that they judge a Sunday morning dress by it's "twirlability." I love the cuddling and watching Disney movies and baking cookies and helping mommy clean. I love that long after they go to bed, we can hear whispering and giggling. Ohhhh, how I love little girl giggles!! It's a sound I will forever treasure in my heart. I love the fascination with princesses and all things sparkly and magic. I love that they cannot walk out the door dressed to go somewhere without hearing from their daddy that they look beautiful. And oh my goodness, watching Patrick with his girls has been the highlight of my life. They have him wrapped. So...all that to say, when I found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed to be expecting another little girl. My dream coming true! I just knew it was a girl. With the exception of two or three friends, everyone knew. We had a name, the girls wanted a sister....life was good! Except the puking part... haha
Fast forward three months....
Patrick, Lily, Evie, and I were watching the ultrasound of our precious baby girl. Everything looked great, which is the best news in all of this. We were waiting on the tech to tell us what we all knew....that it was a girl. And that's when I saw it. A penis. My little girl had a PENIS!! (I can't believe I just typed that word out). And then the lady confirmed what I saw. And oh...the shock. I squealed, I laughed, I cried. I seriously should name this child Isaac for all of the laughing I did. The ladies outside thought we were having twins! Nope, just a BOY!!! We were thrilled! I called everyone and LOVED hearing the shock. We were giddy all day.
But as the day wore on, it hit me...I'm not bringing my little girl home. By that night, I was crying. Sobbing. I know that moms of little boys will read this and think I am crazy...but cut me some slack. I'm a hormonal mess. Plus, I know girls. I wasn't crying over having a boy. I was crying over letting go of the idea of another girl. I cried myself to sleep that night. Pathetic, I know. But I'm just being honest. I do not for one second think girls are "better" than boys. In fact, hearing people compare the two like that annoys me more than anything on the face of the earth. I just don't know little boys. I didn't have a brother...
After a few days of the news sinking in, however, I am happy to report that I am totally stoked about having a boy! I still have my moments. I mean, let's face it...the clothes options for girls are sooo much more diverse. And I'm a little shallow like that. But after talking to several friends with both sexes, I am getting more excited. The vast majority have been so helpful. They have all told me that the love is no more, the bond is no stronger...it's just different. I will love my boy just as much as I love my girls, but my relationship with him will be different. It should be. I sure hope I don't love the same things about him as I do my girls...haha! And I'm good with that. In fact, I am looking so forward to experiencing both. There is nothing on earth like having daughters. And I'm confident I will be able to say there is nothing on earth like having a son as well. Both are so, so special. And God makes no mistakes. This little man was exactly the perfect fit for our family, and I can't wait to get my hands on him. I mean, his daddy is pretty much my favorite person on earth. So I know I will adore his son! I got a Christmas card in the mail the other day from my friend, Haley, and on the back of it is the cutest picture ever of her little boy. It seriously made my heart stop a little. I don't know what it was about his little smile that made me so excited, but it just did. I may not know what I'm doing, but I have a little girl that has prepared me for this messy, dirty, risk-taking little boy. (Yes, Evie plays in the mud in her crown and tutu). And I've heard little boys love their mamas. My girls love me, and we have the most unique bond, but their faces light up when their daddy walks in the room. And I love that. What am I saying??....Patrick is an amazing dad. This will probably be the world's first daddy's boy.
So...all that to say...bring on the cars, frogs, nerf guns, little boy smiles...Oh please let him have huge dimples. I'm ready! I can't wait to meet this little fella. I am sure he will steal this mama's heart just like his older sisters have.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
At every stage of her life, we will have to face moments of her getting bigger and us letting her go a little. Right now- our “letting go” is sending her to her own room to sleep. For the past seven months, she has slept in a crib in the same room as Nathan and me at night. I have loved, loved it, but now I know it is time to send her on her own little way ACROSS the house (I am still struggling with it)! :/ As silly as it may seem, a part of me is very sad to see this stage of her life pass. However, I know that it is a small step in the process of a lifetime of letting her go. But that is God’s plan. He gave her to us to train her, teach her, love her, and let her go to be the person He planned for her to be. We are just the blessed ones He chose to help her along in the process.
I hope I never take any stage of her life or time I have with her for granted. Twenty years will be here before I know it, and one day she will be experiencing this incredible bond with her own little ones. Well.. hopefully not in TWENTY years. J